I’ve
come to know quite a few new species of the insect world since arriving in
Nicaragua. Some have impressed me, or terrified me (or a bit of both). Others
have caused me to ponder what, if he were alive, Darwin would have said to
justify their continued existence. I’d like to take a few moments to highlight
some of the shining stars, and a few failures of evolution (as far as I can
tell. Please feel free to discuss these with a entomologist and let me know
what they think.
The All-Stars
Termites (termitas)
Tiny,
ever-present, highly organized, and incredibly destructive. How does one get
rid of termites in Nicaragua? As far as I can tell, you don’t. Instead, you go
about your business, resigned to the fact that part of your house will one day
be a pile of dust, having been eroded by the constant chewing of miniscule, ever-hungry
little insect jaws. Which, by the way, you can hear.
Butterflies (mariposas)
You
know those giant, vibrantly blue butterflies that you see sometimes tacked in
display cases? I saw one flitting by in the wild the other day. It took my
breath away. The bright colors of the surrounding flora just couldn’t compare
to that iridescence.
Mosquitoes (zancudos)
My
dislike of mosquitoes has grown immensely now that I live in partially enclosed
spaces. I have to respect them, however. They survive despite being universally
reviled (except, I suppose, by those species which feed upon them). They
multiply rapidly. They evolve to feed at different points during the day so
that every variety gets an opportunity to dine, free from competition. And dine
they do. I have no idea how they manage to bite me as much as they do, but
every day I end up with not one, but a patch of new bites, in different spots.
Hands and feet are definitely the worst.
Scorpions (alacranes)
Yes,
I know they aren’t “insects”. I don’t care. They’re on this list because they
scare the crap out of me. Evolution definitely did its work well early on, and
decided to let well enough alone. These creatures are prehistoric evil. How is
it fair that it should be equipped with pincers, jaws, and stinger? Cheaters.
The Rejects
Giant
black beetles (ron rones)
Sure,
the size is impressive. Those mandibles look like a force to be reckoned with.
But they probably won’t be using them against you or much else, as they have
the sad tendency to flip over on their backs and spend hours or days flailing
their little legs in a futile effort to right themselves. Eventually they die
of natural causes (exhaustion; starvation; stupidity), or get crushed.
Giant
Flying Ants (hormigas voladoras)
Another
instance of impressive exterior, faulty interior. These insects are pretty
massive. The buzzing of their wings is loud and grating. Their mandibles look
fully capable of inflicting significant damage to exposed skin. And there is
the strength in numbers factor: these babies swarm. They also die a few hours
after they appear. And snap, crackle, pop when you step on them.
Slugs (babosas)
Large
enough to be indiscrete, slow, and lacking any form of defense. What is the
purpose of a slug, other than to eat plants and leave mucous smears? I found
one hiding in my sandal the other day (note to self: do not drop guard. Check
shoes before putting them on. Toe-slug contact in the dark is unsettling). Six
hours later, it was still there. I dislodged it with a pen and threw it into
the yard. Worthless.
Briefly
Winged Larva-Looking Bugs (no idea)
I
really don’t understand these bugs. They arrive in droves when it rains. They
have beautiful, iridescent wings that carry them to every conceivable surface
in and out of your house. And then…they lose their wings and become awkward,
highly squishable larvae-like things. That then become squished smears. Seems
pretty pointless to be equipped with fully functional wings if you’re planning
on dropping them after the first time you land on a solid surface.
Word
of the Week: chinche –
insect of the small and biting variety
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